Rebus Rubus Rosus
by Tusk Act IV
Summary: Like Blake, Ruby had a secret about her body. She's never been truly comfortable about it but she knew she had to tell someone. And that someone may have to be one Jaune Arc
**Disclaimer: I neither own the characters nor the series itself**

* * *

"Jaune, we need to talk."

Ah yes, the famous "we need to talk" statement. Feared by anyone who has ever been in any form of relationship, it often implied that a shift or change was to come in said relationship.

Of course, since this came from one Ruby Rose, Jaune Arc didn't really think that he had to make that big a deal out of it. After all, he was just her friend.

Actually, he was technically her "BF", which he thought meant either Bestest Friend or Buddy Friend considering Weiss already was her BFF and that Penny was also, or had been, her Best Friend which started with BF as well. This just got ore confusing as Ruby called Blake her Blakey Friend and that Ren was her B-list friend or mutual friend.

It was all very confusing but Ruby wouldn't budge on the matter.

Well, whatever it was, it sounded serious judging from her tone so the blond put on his serious face and turned to the girl sitting next to him.

Currently, both were sitting side by side on a hill, the afternoon dusk a nice warm orange. Below them, was a view of a village they, with Ren and Nora, had just recently helped out and saved from Grimm attacks.

In fact, Nora and Ren were still down there, helping out. Considering the two's situation, it was really no surprise they wanted to be there for the townspeople.

If there was one thing that Jaune could say he loved about this whole traveling thing, it was the feeling of seeing all these new beautiful sights and being the hero he wanted to be, a sentiment he knew was shared by the girl next to him.

Turning away from the view, Jaune faced Ruby. "What is it? If it's about upgrading Crocea Mors again..."

Ruby giggled remembering their previous heated discussion on his family heirloom.

"No, not that. It's just that seeing all of this," She gestured to the village, "makes me think. I mean, Ruby Rose, the hero, is very satisfied but there's also the matter with Ruby Rose, the normal girl with normal knees."

As she said this, Ruby not so subtly laid her hand on Jaune's own. The gesture did not go unnoticed by the knight as he adjust their hands so as their fingers were then intertwined which caused a small blush to bloom on both of their faces.

Fortunately for her, Jaune knew what this meant as he had done the same thing to Pyrrha which he always thought the spartan and anyone else who had somehow been watching them would understand.

'Sorry, Weiss. Looks like I'm gonna be getting that new friendship ring. BFF status here we go.'

Ruby steeled herself. This was going to be hard for everyone, especially her. She knew Jaune , simple Jaune, would accept her for what she was but there was still fear within her.

"But before any of that, Jaune, there's something I want you to know something." She looked away for a second, squeezing his hand as if to draw more determination from their union of fingers. "I have a secret that only my family knows about and if we're going to proceed on this relationship then you'll have to know it, as well."

Completely missing the implication, Jaune looked into Ruby's eyes and nodded, his manner serious.

"Look, Rubes. We've been through thick and thin. No matter what you tell me, just know you'll still have me by your side by the end."

"Th-thanks Jaune." Her determination renewed , Ruby smiled back at him. "I knew it was right in picking you. Okay, I'll tell you but you have to promise me you won't freak out. It's really...different."

"Hey, you didn't freak out or rejected me when I told you that I faked my way into Beacon. So I'll do you the same courtesy.

To be honest, it really wasn't that surprising for Ruby when he hajd told her or that important anyways now that Beacon had fallen.

"O-okay then. Here it goes." Summoning all of her willpower, Ruby blurted out her terrible secret.

"I'm part anime!"

"So you're a fauna?" Jaune replied, taking everything pretty easily. "Because I always thought you had this unusual adorableness..."

Though blushing at the compliment, Ruby shook her head. "Not animal, Jaune! Anime! I'm part human and part anime!"

"...okay, now you lost me."

Ruby just sighed at Jaune's confused look. Well, maybe it was easier this way.

"It means that my dad was a full human and my mom was an anime character so that makes me part-anime. Yang's full human if you're wondering."

"What I'm more wondering," went Jaune as he scratched his head, "Is what's an anime? Is it a silver eyes thing?"

"No, it's not...I think. It's just a special type of people. It's really hard to explain. Easier for me to show you. First close your eyes."

"Then how would I be able to..."

"Just do it!"

"Alrighty then." Obeying the black and red haired girl next to him, Jaune obediently closed his eyes.

With his peepers shut, the blonde really didn't know what to expect which was why he was completely caught off-guard when he felt a slight soft warm feeling press against his lips.

His eyes immediately shot open but Ruby had moved back by then.

"W-what was that?!"

"N-never mind that," remarked Ruby even as she looked everywhere but at Jaune. "L-look here, Jaune,"

"What? But I am looking? Also, you just-"

"No, Look at my face, Jaune! Don't you see anything odd?"

Jaune then stopped his exclamations to truly look at the young girl's face.

Ruby was still Ruby albeit blushing. She did look a bit more mature, possibly because or the hardships they had gone through. Also, maybe it was because of what she had done earlier, but she also looked more adorable than usual, especially the way her cheeks-

"Hey Rubes. Why are there lines on your face?" Jaune asked. Indeed, on Ruby's cheeks were slanted glowing red lines instead of an even pink. "Also? Is that steam coming out of your head?"

"I knew it! It's weird isn't it!" Tiny hands went up to cover her face. Oddly enough, the blush lines could still be seen over the back of the hands.

Knowing that it was Pictionary night and that he needed his only partner in top shape, Jaune moved immediately to embrace the not-a-goth girl in an attempt to comfort her.

"Hey, it's not that weird." Jaune rubbed the girl's back.

"Really?" Ruby looked up with a sniffle and Jaune had to prevent himself from cringing from her appearance, her eyes were large inhuman pure white circles that had tiny rivers spilling out from them.

"Yeah," Jaune shrugged. "I mean, it's not that weird. Ren has no nipples and Pyrrha has fish in her vagina."

"What?"

"Well, that's what she told me, at least. Every night, I had to use my fingers or even tongue to find the fish but never was able to." Jaune sighed as he remembered his constant failings as a leader. Pyrrha even always had this pained look whenever he tried to find it.

"...okay. Well, thanks anyways, Jaune. I was a bit scared at telling you but I knew you would understand." Ignoring Pyrrha's blatent sexual harassment, Ruby went back to hugging the blonde dufus.

"No problem, Rubes. Whether you're gay, have a dick, or even a faunus, you'd still be Crater face to me," responded Jaune as he returned the hug.

As they shared a warm embrace, Jaune couldn't help but look past Ruby's shoulder. There, miles away, was the small town and within that small town his eyes met those of Nora Valkyrie, who was holding a box of Pictionary and, even though could never have been seen, she mouthed,

 _Going. Down._

"Um, Jaune? I know, this is sorta late but, there's something else about my heritage that you have to see."

"Huh?" Looking away from his miles-long stare down with Nora, Jaune turned his attention back to his now hopefully revived game night partner. "Couldn't this wait or even be revealed later?"

"Yeah, but the author really wants to get this over with so it may be best to reveal this now."

"Fair enough,"

As Ruby stepped back from their hug, Jaune mentally prepared himself for what was to come. Whatever Ruby was going to do, he knew that, as her BF (or new BFF) that he should remain strong and not flinch at what the young girl was going through.

And so, Jaune Arc blinked and in front of him was, still, Ruby Rose.

No, it wasn't the Ruby Rose he knew but it sort of looked like her...if she was a bobblehead anyways.

Her head was much larger than any head he's seen on a person which was emphasized by her huge saucer-like eyes. It didn't help that her body, even her clothes, had seemed to have shrunk to the size of a small child.

Noticing Jaune's speechless expression, the tiny huntress put her hands behind her and looked up to the knight with literally the biggest doe eyes Jaune had ever been assaulted with. She was also floating in the air for some reason.

"Is...is weird?"

Jaune took a shaky step forward. His heart was beating so fast as he took in the visage of the cherubim in front of him. Never had he felt such feelings, such warmth, such arousal. Truly this was the reason why Pyrrha never was able to get his motor running unlike Weiss.

Weiss may have been flat. She may have been a washboard. Her front could have been thought of as her back with two mosquito bites but Ruby...Ruby right now was _flat_ **.** It was like she had lost a dimension and was replaced by a drawing.

And that turned Jaune Arc on.

He moved immediately. He took another step and embraced the small visage n front of him causing an "Eep".

Without any hesitation, he somehow grabbed both of her huge cheeks and smashed his lips against her own.

Ruby was shocked at first, her huge eyes turning into swirls, but soon responded with equal passion. She tried to wrap her hands around Jaune's neck but her short arms could only reach halfway. She then moved her tongue past her mouth and into Jaune's, the appendage now large enough to not just fill the blonde's mouth but also reach all the way back to his throat.

Meanwhile, Jaune's hands were moving as well. While his right hand's fingers roamed the miniscule body, his left hand's palm wholly grasped all of her chibi bottom. With just one fistful of clothes, he was able to rip off the small fabric and start

 **Stop. Stop right there. I know I agreed to beta this but holy fucking shit what the fuck is this. Ten pages of Jaune fucking a chibi!Ruby. Ten. Fucking. Pages.**

 **Are you nuts? I thought this was Rated T. And using analogies to describe the sex does not make it rated T.**

Jaune kept pushing his sausage into the the tiny Ruby's anthill, careful not to break the fragile soil creation. Even though the sausage was steaming hot, it was still swarmed by what could be a cloth of ants. Each one pricked it's skin, their pincers unable to pierce the skin but enough to give it feeling. And this was felt throughout the whole sausage.

 **Like what the fuck. Dude, no. Just end it here. Please. Or just start something new. Not this.**

* * *

"Tell me, do you bleed?"

The question came out of nowhere and made Ruby Rose pause in her tracks. She turned around to stare at the one who asked her.

"You will," glared back Jaune, his voice oddly gravelly.

"What?"

"Nothing really." Jaune shrugged, his voice back to normal. "I was just wondering if you're already menstruating."

"Jaune!" Ruby yelled back, her face red with both embarrassment and anger.

"W-what? I was just wondering." It was actually a pretty common question in the Arc household, seven sisters and all.

"I'm fifteen! FIFTEEN! How old did you think I was?!"

"Uhhh..." Jaune tried to think of a number. "Thirteen?"

"Gah!" Stomping away from the blonde, Ruby swore to have her reveng and prove to Jaune, just how old she truly was.

She'll show him what it meant to bleed.

Later at Lunch

As the narration clearly stated, it was time for lunch. Jaune looked down at his food...if you could call it that. He had been late in lining up so he got stuck with the leftover pea soup.

"Hey buddy, looks like you got a great lunch there." commented Ruby as she sat next to the knight, shoving Ren aside like the background character he was. "Thankfully for you, the great Ruby Rose will bless you with on of her greatest creations."

With that declaration, Ruby brought out a brown paper bag and pull out what looked like to Jaune a sandwich. It looked like a simple one, composed of two slices of bread and-

"Is that jam?"

"YYyuuuppp" with a big grin, Ruby handed the sandwich to Jaune which was dripping with whatever filling it had. "It's made of my own spial strawberry jam. It's super rare as i could only make it once month but I'm sure you'll enjoy it!"

Trying to ignore Ruby's creepily large smile, Jaune took it into his hand. He squeezed it lightly making the red filling ooze out.

He took a sniff.

"Smells...fishy."

"That's just cause it's all natural! Now eat up! Hurry Hurry!"

Seeing how enthusiastic his friend was, Jaune dismissed the warning sirens in his head. He moved the sandwich to his mouth and took a big

 **That's it! I'm done! I am done.**

* * *

 **AN: And that is why I don't have betas.**

 **I really do need some though. I recently went through some of my past stories and removed some errors but I always do miss some when I check. Ah, the hassles of writing purely on phone.**

 **So the origin of this was a conversation that RWBY was part-anime. I was like "What the hell does part-anime even mean?" ad went from there. This was actually written before RWBY Chibi announcement, so yeah. After that, I had no idea how to stretch the joke into any longer so decided to end it right there.**

 **Anyways, been busy thanks to school so it's been a real while since I've written anything. You could say this is me just stretching my muscles so don't take this too seriously.**

 **Also, I'd like a shout out to clarallis and her fic Red Frills for partly inspiring the premise. She's new but writes good stuff. Much better than this junk. So go check her fic out. I'll probably not regret saying this, Probably.**


End file.
